The Little Things

It’s our two year anniversary today… Two years. Does that mean anything to you? I...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:36:52 -1000

It’s our two year anniversary today… Two years. Does that mean anything to you? I can’t believe you just left me here all by myself. It doesn’t matter that you’re hanging out with them at night. You expected me to fall asleep late but I ended up taking a nap and now I’m awake. I’m alone. You think you just know everything about me, but really, you don’t. You don’t know my reasons of getting mad, the reasons why I get upset when you go out. I really don’t get mad that you go out, it all depends on who it is and what time is it.

Why would I want you hanging out with people that don’t like me? I know they talk crap about me but you don’t even defend me when they do. You always just let things slide. When people talk crap about you to me, I defend you. I defend you unless I know that its true too. Then, seriously, why would you hang out late at night? You know how dangerous that is? I care about your safety. I don’t care that you’re almost nineteen years old; there are still crazy people running around. How would you like it that I stayed out still twelve in the morning? Yeah, you’d be mad at me too.

What upsets me the most is that you said no to hanging out with Randall, telling him that it’s our anniversary, but then you don’t say no to your other friends. I gave you the option to just hang out with all your friends because today was already ruined, but you don’t take it. You just start getting pissed off at me. UGH. Then you always tell me that you call your events off when really you don’t. You just want me to feel bad so I’ll let you go, which I do but then you tell me “No I already called it off.” When the time comes, you just leave and you expect me not to get mad.

I’m sick of this man. I’m sick of all our fights. When I tell you something that you did, you throw back something I did. When I want to talk about situations concerning you, you complain about things that are about me. You never just hear me out. You don’t listen to everything I have to say. You make excuses when we need a serious talk. “I’m tired”, “I have a headache”, or “I really don’t feel good today.” That’s what I hear from you almost everyday, like really now. Stop avoiding everything.

I’m sick of this already.

I’m highly irritated. People keep poking me and touching me, it’s starting to really...

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:02:48 -1000

I’m highly irritated.

People keep poking me and touching me, it’s starting to really piss me off. I say stop, but no they continue. I already feel violated as it is. The same thing that occurred in Hawaii is repeating here. Like seriously, when I say stop, stop. The more you continue, the more I will think you’re an annoying person that’s childish. The fact that I’m irritated isn’t making any of my stress better. The school year ends in a month, and I’m freaking out. I’m trying to raise all my grades up by then; I don’t want to fail another class again. I already failed Beginning Acting for the year my freshman year, Algebra 2 the first semester, and I’m at risk of failing Human Physiology this semester. I don’t want to waste my whole summer in summer school again. I need relaxation.

Photo

Sun, 12 May 2013 15:14:14 -1000

He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes Started making...

Wed, 08 May 2013 16:46:16 -1000

He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past two in the morning
He hasn’t been sober for days

Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don’t last
Like the feeling of what he needs

Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in

Forgive me, I’m trying to find
My calling, I’m calling at night
I don’t mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She’s been running through my dreams
And it’s driving me crazy, it seems
I’m gonna ask her to marry me

Even though she doesn’t believe in love,
He’s determined to call her bluff
Who could deny, these butterflies?
They’re filling his gut

Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads, oh he tries
But he’s only denied
Now he’s dying to get inside

Forgive me, I’m trying to find
My calling, I’m calling at night
I don’t mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She’s been running through my dreams
And it’s driving me crazy, it seems
I’m gonna ask her to marry me

The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn’t think much of it then
But it’s starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be

I’m not coming back, (forgive me)
I’ve done something so terrible
I’m terrified to speak, (I’m not calling, I’m not calling)
But you’d expect that from me
I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt;
Now the rain is just (you’re driving me crazy, I’m)
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I’m over you now
I’m at home in the clouds
Towering over your head

Well I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home.

I mean I guess I’m seventeen now. :p

Sun, 05 May 2013 09:18:39 -1000

I mean I guess I’m seventeen now. :p

"One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really..."

Sat, 04 May 2013 21:11:09 -1000

“One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”

- John Green (via hardcore)

Posted at drybar, getting my hair done for tonight.

Sat, 04 May 2013 10:40:22 -1000

Posted at drybar, getting my hair done for tonight.

It just occurred to me how fast time is passing by. My birthday is this Saturday and I’ll be...

Thu, 02 May 2013 17:26:00 -1000

It just occurred to me how fast time is passing by. My birthday is this Saturday and I’ll be turning seventeen. I’m not excited though. Another year older is another year being closer to death. In about a month, school will be over and summer will come along. Community service, trying to find a job, trying to earn my permit, summer school, applying to colleges, and apply to as many scholarships as I can; my summer will end up being hectic and stressful. I haven’t even taken my SAT’s yet, or my ACT’s.

Seconds, minutes, days will fly right past me and senior year will arrive. I have to give it my all, I need to earn those A’s. I don’t care how isolated I’ll be from everyone else; I already exclude myself anyways. Just this week, I finally found friends to hang out with at lunch. It’s going to suck next year because there’s the possibility we all might not have the same lunch period. My friend, Jaskoma, said that I’ll probably make more friends next year because it’ll be a new year; new classes, different students. I’m frightened though because I’m not as outgoing as I use to be. I use to be the girl that talked to anyone so they won’t feel so uncomfortable, but I’ve become the girl that’s uncomfortable around everyone else.

I’m scared for my future. What if I don’t get into a good college? What if I cant find a decent job to support myself? I want… wait let me rephrase that; I NEED to move out of this house the moment I turn 18 or once I graduate. Being here as made me stressed and depressed; my mind is just ready to explode. I can’t take it anymore. I need to get my act together and become well-rounded. I need to take care of myself. I know how to take care of myself, I just don’t want or need family around me to do that. My friends are closer to me than my family will ever be. My mom doesn’t understand the fact that she has ruined my life. The fact that its her fault from the ways things have been going. I wish I could skip all this teenage crap and just become a successful adult.

Oh complex thoughts. put yourself together to actually make some sense and hand me the answers to get threw life.

It’s 10:25pm and I’m only starting homework now… Omfgggggggggg

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 19:25:56 -1000

It’s 10:25pm

and I’m only starting homework now…

Omfgggggggggg

Tapioca Express. :3 @ktpatissiere241 @omaque

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:47:52 -1000

Tapioca Express. :3 @ktpatissiere241 @omaque

Finally reading the book that sweetheart got me. ^-^ The Fault...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 03:51:36 -1000

Finally reading the book that sweetheart got me. ^-^

The Fault in Our Stars
By: John Green

Starbucks got my name right for the FIRST TIME EVER :D

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:03:32 -1000

Starbucks got my name right for the FIRST TIME EVER :D

I don’t need a perfect one, I just need someone who can...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 13:20:27 -1000

I don’t need a perfect one, I just need someone who can make me feel that I’m the only one.

For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about this previous summer. It destroyed me. As much...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 12:59:00 -1000

For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about this previous summer. It destroyed me. As much as it makes me depressed, it’s hard to not think about it. Last summer changed me. It showed me how alone I was, the people that were actually there for me, and who the backstabbers were. It changed my relationship with my boyfriend. I thought this girl I knew became my best friend, but she just ended up stabbing my back. Now I can’t even stand her. I’m more insecure of myself than I’ve ever been before. I hate myself. The one person that was truly there for me, who stuck by my side was my best friend, Chay Sabino. If it wasn’t for her, my summer wouldn’t have had a little lightening up. Even though she was next to me all the time, I cried almost every day. I wish I died. Thinking about this makes me wish I died during that time; maybe it wouldn’t be eating me up so much inside..

April 18, 2011 ❤ Two years ago, I met this weirdo. And you know...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:24:23 -1000

April 18, 2011 ❤ Two years ago, I met this weirdo. And you know what happened after that? He became my best friend. :)

Although I was sick, I have to say I’ve had a pretty productive day. :) I got plenty of rest,...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 17:31:00 -1000

Although I was sick, I have to say I’ve had a pretty productive day. :)

I got plenty of rest, watched three of my all time favorite movies (Pretty in Pink, Clueless, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), and read my book. My voice still sounds super gross though, and it’s hard for me to sit up and walk around without my body aching and getting dizzy a lot. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I can go back to school. Now it’s time for Freaks and Geeks. :3

End a good book, start a new one. :) Pregnant Pause By: Han...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 20:09:04 -1000

End a good book, start a new one. :)

Pregnant Pause

By: Han Nolan

to—

Chinese Cinderella

By: Adeline Yen Mah

#semicolonproject416

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 13:48:19 -1000

#semicolonproject416

thesebutterflybones: thesbutterflybones you will get through...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 17:30:42 -1000

thesebutterflybones:

thesbutterflybones you will get through this <3 The pain, the suffering, the tears they can feel like they last forever but don’t give up for one single second. There is life/light at the end of the tunnel. Your story isn’t over yet. Don’t give up okay?

shitilovee: R.I.P Angel ❤ This is a photo of the 8 year old...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:16:36 -1000

shitilovee:

R.I.P Angel ❤

This is a photo of the 8 year old who unfortunately was killed in todays horrific Boston Marathon tragedy. Brings Tears to my eyes.